Deep Space

Mark Fatu confirmed today that he was in talks over a new show called Deep Space. Reports circulating on the net yesterday that this was a Science Fiction Soap Opera have proved incorrect and Deep Space will in fact be about a group of hippies who smoke heaps of drugs and contemplate the meaning of life, the universe and everything. "We're not making a rerun of The Young Ones and having five Neal types chewing on Lentil Stew" said Fatu "the concept here will be to tackle the big issues of time, space and relativity whilst exploring the brain with mind altering substances". Fatu confirmed no actual drugs would be used but actors would be provided with several boxes of soap powder and would be allowed to take creative license with it.

Battlestar Spud

Mark Fatu today confirmed he had done further work on his Battlestar Enterprise concept and was now considering the rebranding it as Battlestar Spud. Fatu said that he was sick and tired of Starships being called Enterprise, Galactica or Pegagus and said it was far more likely in the future that people would name starships after vegetables. Fatu said some people would find this suggestion a little unusual but pointed to a local tradition of naming servers after vegetables or fruit. Fatu said amongst other names he had considered for his Sci-Fi venture were Battlestar Carrot, Starship Pumpkin and even just plain old Cabbage 3. Fatu would not confirm speculation that Dan Dare would be his main character after earlier rumours that the lead character would be called Commander Bilbo Baggins proved incorrect due to confusion with another Fatu project.

Even More Hobbit Goings On

Peter Jackson today confirmed that he would be involved in the Hobbit next year but declined to say whether the International pulling power of Mark "The Beast" Fatu would see him in the box seat for the role of Bilbo Baggins. Fatu who has been quietly accumulating facial hair and talking of big adventures, would still not confirm to his internet fan base whether he would finally be making his debut as an international superstar of film. Rumours emulating from Weta Workshops in Miramar suggest that they are having difficulty being able to shrink Fatu down to the size of a hobbit as apparently thayare not wishing to use special effects for this film as they have "been there and done that".

More Hobbit Rumours

Rumours coming out of Wellywood indicate that Peter Jackson will be having an involvement as Director in the production of The Hobbit. Jackson has not been able to be drawn on whether he has been in contact with Mark "The Beast" Fatu over taking the role of Bilbo Baggins for the film. The Beast has recently been commenting on the " and the lack of adventurers in the neighbourhood" and there have been reported sighting of him associating with a man in a wizards hat. Fatu has been quiet on his latest film ventures recently although was believed to be working on a Science Fiction spin off called Battlestar Enterprise, where the central character Commander Kirk sets off to find Earth whilst been chased by "Cling on" robots called Pylons. A spokesmen for the studio said off the record that there was something familiar about the series that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

The Hobbit

Mark "The Beast" Fatu was neither confirming nor denying he had been approached to star in the Lord of The Rings prelude The Hobbit. Fatu said that even if he had been approached, he would be sitting and waiting to see what role Peter Jackson would be playing in the movie. Fatu said that people should not read too much into his recent growth of facial hair that made him look uncannily like Bilbo Baggins. Fatu did say that if he should happen to leave on a big adventure in the next few months, he hoped someone would mind the service desk for him until he got back.

Sleazy Rider

Mark "The Beast" Fate rejected out of hand a proposal from a shady Internet dealer to make a film called Sleazy Rider with The Beast as the star. "This is the first time someone has stumped up with the cash for a project" said Fatu "but I'm not the kind of guy who would do what he was suggesting to a horse". Fatu said he would prefer to focus on films with "family values" and was interested in a nine wholesome film. "Trouble is I've never seen a wholesome film so I'm not really sure where to start.

Breezy Rider

Mark "The Beast" Fatu is talking of filming his new blockbuster Queasy Rider in Wellington. The Capital's famous winds though may make the chunder fly further and Fatu is talking renaming it Breezy Rider. "I'm expecting to film at one end of the Wellington Airport runway and we've got a feeling we should be able to project vomit to the other end in a southerly" said Fatu "this should make for more dramatic scenes without having to fork out for any special effects. Fatu says he'd film additional footage in Courtney Place on Saturday night as it is expected that the Pommy Supporters hitting town after the Rugby League should have problems holding their beer.

Queasy Rider

Mark "The Beast" has reworked his Uneasy Rider script so that his main characters are travel sick motorcycle riders. Fatu said he thought it would add another dimension of the main characters had to stop by the side of the road every few minutes to vomit. "I think it will give additional opportunities for dialogue as they'll have to stop every couple of minutes". Queasy Rider may yet become a TV series with two brothers travelling the country looking for a cure for their travel sickness, only to find all manner of spooks and demons able to throw up at even greater volumes than themselves. "People have told me the concept is sick" said Fatu "but I like to think of it as a throw back to an earlier time".