Happy New Year

Mark Fatu urged his legions of fans to drive carefully and to have a happy and safe New Year. Fatu said his large female following would no doubt be out on the town all night but he urged them to think of him and wish him success in the film industry in 2007. Fatu said he'd had his problems with proposals for space films but pointed out that even Peter Jackson was having issues with the Halo films. Fatu said he thought there might not be as much interest in space films as there used to be, possibly caused by the most recent Stars Wars films not being as good as the original trilogy. Fatu suggested only Battlestar Galactica is doing well right now, and that is no doubt only because Lucy Lawless was in it.

Fatu Fans Wish The Beast Merry Christmas

Fans of Mark "The Beast" Fatu inundated him with Christmas cards according to a source close to his script writer. Fatu spent Christmas quietly with his family at an undisclosed location is reported to have been thankful for all the attention. Fatu said he would take a break from his creative side an instead focus on his football for a few weeks. Fatu was reportedly keen to help Land Rovers win the league again and felt the extra training might seem him attain a regular starting spot. Fatu also thought a football movie in space might have merit although it was unclear where the crowd would sit in such a game.

Z Ships

Mark Fatu wished his legions of fans a Merry Christmas and hoped they would all have a good holiday break. Fatu said the creative juices were a bit stunted at this time of the year, partly because there were so many other juices to be consumed. Fatu said he'd be taking thing quietly and trying to come up with a new concept for a show, possibly based on Earth. Fatu has had some negative feedback from his science fiction proposals but still thought he might come up with a winning idea. I'm mulling over a programme called Z Ships at the moment, it will be a Police show based in Space.

Dirty Den Out

Leslie Grantham the actor who played Dirty Den Watts has reportedly said today to News Of The Universe that the idea of EastEnders in Space was ahead of its time. Grantham confirmed he wouldn't be taking part in any such show and it was surprising that Fatu wasn't turning his own local show Shortland Street into a space adventure. Fatu responded saying that Shortland Street was in Auckland and nobody wanted to see people sitting round in space suits sipping latte all day. Fatu said he doubted anyone from Auckland would ever make it to space but if they did they'd spend their time moaning about the hardships of space. Fatu thought he might have to look at a film based on Earth the way things were going.

Eastenders Not a Flier Either

A last minute bid to rebrand Coronation Street in Space as Eastenders has been unsuccessful, after the creative force behind the idea Mark "The Beast" Fatu hit a snag. Fatu could not figure out where East would be in space, particularly he didn't really know any particular Landmarks on Pluto, where he was hoping to set the space age soap. Fatu said he that whilst he could see how a rocket man could burn out his fuse up there alone, he was struggling with more mundane stuff about how you had a pint in a space suit. Fatu said it would be no problem getting the alcohol into them in a tube, but the opportunity for dialogue was limited inside a vomit stained space suit.

Space Coronation Street Dead

William Roache today is understood to have turned down the role of Captain Ken Barlow in a proposed Coronation Street in space. Mark "The Beast " Fatu said today that the whole idea would be dead without him as he couldn't really see any of the other characters taking the part. Fatu said he'd settled on Pluto as the location for the a street as he felt Pluto had had a rough time of it lately when it was downgraded to a rock from a planet. Fatu said he thought Pluto was the kind of place they'd send criminals and working class in the future, the kind of role currently filled by Australia in the modern day.

Fatu Denies Encouraging Drunken Space Flight

Mark Fatu today reacted to suggestions from MADD (Mothers against Interstellar Drunkenness) that his proposed setting of Coronation Street would encourage drunken flying of space craft. A suggestion that the Rovers return be in space apparently sparked the reaction when it became evident that if Captain Ken Barlow stopped in at the Rovers return on Pluto, he might be over the limit for the flight back to Earth. Fatu said that he thought it unlikely that a space craft with the technology to get to Pluto wouldn't have a auto pilot on it for drunks. Fatu assured the public there would be an episode dealing with the difficult issue of space drunkenness but it would be handled with sympathy and understanding.

Babylon 6 a no go

Mark "The Beast" Fatu today denied media reports that suggested he was lookinging to start a series called Babyloin 6. Fatu said that everyone knew that their was never a sixth Babylon and he couldn't see where the storyline would go. Fatu said he was more interested in the idea of putting Coronation Street in space and said an idea for a soap opera based around spaceship captain Captain Ken Barlow had appeal. Fatu was not yet sure where the Rovers Return would be but he thought the corner shop could be an outpost on Mars. Fatu said with the huge distances that could be covered with hyper drives, he imagined the space captain might pop into Mars on the way to work in the outer solar system.